


Salvation

by CaffeinaShips



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eating, Gen, Starvation, going hungry and then eating a big meal, hunger, hungry children, parental neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinaShips/pseuds/CaffeinaShips
Summary: 8 year old Dean is left caring for 4 year old Sam. What will he do when the food runs out and he doesn't know when his dad will be home?
Relationships: None
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28
Collections: SPNColdestHits





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> A glimpse into one of those long absences by John hinted at in the show. Dean as a caretaker.

Dean Winchester is 8 years old, and he is hungry. The smell of last night’s mac and cheese heating up in the microwave makes his stomach feel like it grew teeth and is trying to satisfy itself by eating its way out of his body. He’s sitting at the little motel table with Sammy staring at two empty Styrofoam bowls with dirty plastic forks in them waiting for the microwave to ding. Sammy is coloring in the little notebook the motel provided with 4 broken crayons that Dean has been traveling with since their dad took them to Friendly’s over a month ago. 

When the microwave finally dings Dean jumps up too quickly and gets a momentary head rush. There is a small, dried out pile of noodles in the bottom of the cheap plastic bowl. Less than half of what they had had each for yesterday’s lunch. Dean carries it carefully and spoons half of it into Sammy’s bowl. Dean gets him a plastic disposable cup of water from the bathroom sink and watches while Sammy eats it all. 

Sammy asks for more and Dean carefully spoons another portion into Sammy’s bowl. Sammy eats it. Dean gives him more. By the time Sammy is ready to sit in front of the fritzy tv and watch some cartoons there is barely two bites left for Dean. He eats them as slowly as he can, but they’re gone in an instant. It was the last food they had in the room. The tiny meal seems to only make Dean hungrier. He takes the plastic cup into the bathroom and runs the water. He drinks cup after cup of water to fill his belly. 

Sam falls asleep on the floor in front of the tv with a pillow and blanket he dragged off the bed. Dean can’t sleep. Yesterday Dean had made Sammy a scrambled egg in the microwave with the last egg, and they had split the last piece of bread. They each had a bowl of mac and cheese for lunch. Dean had been careful with his share to ensure there would be leftovers. For dinner Sammy had the last piece of cold pizza and Dean had the last few saltines. For Breakfast Dean gave Sammy the last of the cheerios. Dean managed to drag lunch out until it was nearly dinner, and then Sammy fell asleep. So in the last two days Dean had eaten half a piece of white bread, most of a bowl plus two bites of mac and cheese, and a few crackers. 

Sammy would wake up hungry, Dean knew. And if Dean didn’t have an answer Sammy would cry. Their Dad had hammered it into Dean’s head that he needed to take care of his brother, look out for him, keep him safe. Dean always tried to do what his father told him to do, but for a few years he had found the task of caring for his brother to be a chore. A few months ago, however, a switch had flipped for Dean, and now he found himself unable not to care for Sammy.

Dean couldn’t handle hearing Sammy cry. This aversion came on suddenly, and was overwhelming. He HAD to make Sammy happy. He HAD to make him feel loved and protected. In a vague sort of way Dean wondered if it was related to Sam being four years old now. Dean had a very distant sensory memory of being four and suddenly the world stopped being warm and safe. Suddenly it seemed like the world was a cold, hungry place that did not comfort him, and did not wipe his tears or blow his nose. When Dean heard the heart ache wail of four year old Sammy feeling even the slightest touch of the coldness of the world suddenly Dean HAD to make it better for him.  
In this case that meant trying to solve the breakfast problem. Dean knew his Dad would be home soon. He had to be home soon. He always came home eventually. He’d probably even be home tonight, before breakfast. He’d probably be home any minute. He had to know how long the food he’d left would last, and Dean had managed to stretch it out at least a full day longer than it should have been. Their Dad would never leave them stranded without enough food. He must know of something Dean could scrounge up. Unfortunately Dean didn’t know how to call him, so he’d have to solve this problem by himself. A few months ago he would have trusted his Dad to come home and waited for the morning. He would have risked Sam being hungry, and wouldn’t have gone after breakfast until Sam had cried and begged. Now Dean knew better than to let it get that far. He needed a solution tonight. 

His father’s last instruction to him is always to never leave Sammy alone, never take his eyes off of him. Dean generally never disobeys this order. Generally. He picks up the room key and slips out the door without waking his brother. 

Outside the cold air raises goosebumps and he begins to shiver. The shivering tightens his stomach muscles and reminds him of his hunger again. Restlessly he wanders down to the vending machine against the outside of the lobby. One dispenses hot coffee and hot chocolate. The other is packed with the kind of food a trucker might buy. Candy, oatmeal packets, freeze dried soup packets, all jammed into big screws waiting to drop into his hands. He listlessly checks the coin returns. He crams his arm into the vending machine as far as he can reach, until he has a cross bar of bruise on his upper arm from pushing against the machine. He looks around on the ground for dropped change. Luck doesn’t seem to be going his way tonight. 

Without much purpose Dean starts wandering between the parked cars not really thinking about finding anything, but keeping his eyes on the ground just in case. Instead his eye is caught by the ashtray in a station wagon. Sitting in the open tray are several coins and a dollar bill. Certainly enough money to pay the vending machine. Dean looks around and sees nothing but empty parking lot and drawn curtains. The little locking mechanism in the door is up, the car is clearly unlocked. He’s popped the car door open and has his hands in the tray before he even processes what he’s doing. 

On his way back to the vending machine he decides firmly not to feel bad for stealing. He knows it’s wrong to steal, but he’s also learned a lot about the gray areas in the world, and it’s worse to starve than to steal, and worse yet to let a helpless little child like Sammy starve. At the vending machine he considers his options and settles on a packet of pop tarts. With two in a package they should both be set for breakfast. That will leave him just enough change to buy Sammy some peanut butter crackers if he needs another snack before their Dad gets home tomorrow. Or tonight. He could still be home tonight. He will be back soon anyway. 

Dean sneaks back into the room silently, tucks the last of the change into his shoe and falls asleep with breakfast in the drawer in the bedside table. 

In the morning he’s woken by shaking. For a joyous second he believes his father is home, but it’s only hungry Sammy looking for breakfast. Sammy is delighted with the pop tart but whines about having to drink water instead of milk. The milk was gone with the cheerios though so they both make do. Dean carefully breaks his pop tart in half and puts away the other half in case he doesn’t know what to give Sammy for dinner. Though their dad will be back by then. He’ll definitely be back before dinner. 

And Dean is right. Just as Sammy is starting to look like he might want lunch the door to the room swings open and their dad is back! And he’s smiling! Wherever he’d been it had gone well, and he was happy to be back with his boys. There were lots of hugs for Sammy and a status report from Dean. His dad is satisfied with the state of the situation and they all pack up to leave. Dean sneaks his half a pop tart in with the clothes in his backpack. He doesn’t want to have to explain to his dad where it came from, and he’s sure his dad would never really let them run out of food, but his dad is always telling him to be prepared. He’d hate to throw it away.

When Sammy mentions lunch their dad decides to take them to a diner. Dad is still in a good mood. He tells Dean that Dean can order anything he wants. It doesn’t have to be off the kid’s menu, and Dean doesn’t have to tell the waitress he’s under 7 to get the better deal. Dean can eat whatever he wants.

The diner smells amazing, and seeing all of the food on the tables and on the trays is almost more than Dean can handle. He has to force himself to read the menu several times because the intensity of his hunger makes it hard to focus on reading individual words. Slowing down and reading words instead of just trying as fast as possible to get at what the sentence is telling him is something Dean struggles with at school, and it’s made so much worse by the urgency of his stomach. 

Dean finally settles on a bacon cheeseburger. It’s been a few days since he’s had any protein and the meat is calling him. Plus the server walked by with someone else’s hamburger and the smell made Dean dizzy. 

When the plate is set in front of Dean it looks like a lot of food. Like a wasteful amount of food. The slightly shiny bun is wider than Dean’s flat hand. Cheese is dripping off the side, and bacon is sticking out at every angle. He glances at his dad, but his dad is smiling. Tentatively Dean picks up the huge burger in his 8 year old hands and takes a bite. 

It is the single best bite of food he has ever tasted. Dean didn’t know food could taste this overwhelmingly delicious. The bun tastes just a little like butter. He can feel the crunch of the lettuce immediately. The sweetness of the ketchup mixes perfectly with the watery seeds from the tomato. The cheese has a little sharpness to it, which goes perfectly with the bit of pickle. A strip of the bacon comes away from the sandwich and falls onto his plate. The smokiness mellows perfectly with the cheese. 

Oh and the burger! The softness, and the warmness of the meat were heavenly. The juice was like Angels dancing on his tongue. The first bite landed in his stomach like the answer to a prayer he didn’t know he had been saying. It was delicious beyond what Dean imagined delicious could mean. The pleasure he felt from this burger was the sort of spiritual pleasure one only gets when that pleasure comes from the relief from pain. 

Sammy has ordered from the kids menu and is eating… mac and cheese. He is eating it happily while he practices letter sounds from the bad puns on the paper place mat. He is happy, and his dad is looking on proudly. With everything being alright in his world for this moment at least Dean is free to happily consume as much of the burger as he can eat. It was rare to see his father this content and happy for what is going on a few hours now. This meal is the best in Dean’s recent memory. 

When the waitress comes around to refill their drinks Dean’s dad smiles a big smile at her, and makes a comment that makes her giggle. Wherever they went the waitresses always seemed to like their dad. He would often use that to get a little money off the bill, or a free cup of coffee. Though just as often he’d put that money back into the tip. Dean figures that’s what would happen this time too, but to his absolute shock his dad orders 3 pieces of apple pie for dessert.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for SPNColdesthits. You can find them on tumblr and discord. It is the best writing competition on the webs! This month's theme was food porn.


End file.
